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For everything we do, there is always a reason. Everything. Now sometimes we don’t know what the reason is, partly because we don’t take the time to track it back to identify what the reason might be for that action or decision we made, but there is always a reason. That is a truth.

Whatever it is, there is a reason behind everything that we do. Many of us, however, are not consciously aware of this truth. We may be quick to identify the perceived reasons when we experience a victory, but we might be less likely to identify the real reasons behind the challenges and difficulties in our lives.

We are all challenged to some degree. As we are moving forward with our lives, as we are evolving in our relationships with someone that we really care about, there is always going to be something around that is going to challenge us. There is no way out of this. In fact, the only way out of this is to literally go into this. This is another truth. Now, it might take you a little while to prove that truth to yourself, but that is the truth. The only way out of our stuff is to courageously and responsibly go into our stuff.

Many people are invited to the seminars, but not all of them come. In fact, one of the reasons why people don’t make it to a seminar is because something happened within them. They got activated, so to speak, with something that was uncomfortable and was already challenging them. Maybe they didn’t recognize it as such. As a result though, from their perspective they chose not to come. In 37 years of teaching, people have become activated in my classes over and over again. Activated, meaning their stuff would come up. This stuff is the baggage that has not yet been resolved from their past—it’s their issues—whatever they are. This stuff sits in the storage bin of their subconscious. Then it just becomes a question of time when something will happen in their lives and/or relationships that will trigger some aspect of this old baggage; and there they will be in that activated energy.

This activated energy can, however, make them aware of something they need to heal if they choose to look at it. In order to truly heal and resolve our baggage, we must first be willing to actually see whatever it is that we are now choosing to heal. Until we are able to recognize this stuff, there can be no clearing or resolution of it.

What I’ve seen so many times over the years are good marriages, good friendships, and good partnerships be destroyed. What I have seen from my view and place of experience, this is why—this is it right here: It is because one or both members of that relationship or partnership were not yet willing to look at their own stuff; they weren’t yet willing to be responsible for their own unresolved issues from their past. They are just dragging it forward with them. Most are not even aware they are doing this. And so this idea of the activation—when we get activated—can create havoc in our lives without the awareness of what it is that’s really happening here. The end goal, of course, is getting to a point where we can no longer be activated in this way. When we no longer become activated, it means we have cleared up and resolved our issues. How cool would that be to no longer bring this stuff with us into our next relationship? Wow!

This is a key realization.  When we experience challenges and difficulties in our lives, it is often because we are holding onto those unresolved issues as they get activated rather than actually releasing that material as it makes itself known to us. We are not always aware that this is the reason. And as stated before, until we are willing to look at the truth of the reason behind our activation, that energy cannot be healed or resolved.

There is another danger we need to be aware of, which is thinking the reason for our challenges or difficulties is someone else’s fault. It can feel that way, because perhaps something they said or did activated us, but the activation is a result of our unhealed and unresolved issues, not theirs.

Think of someone outside of yourself that you have, what you would consider, a significant relationship with—it could be a parent, a friend, a business associate, a sibling. Whoever that person is, when you think of this person, you know you value this relationship and care about this person. As you think about this person, has there ever been a time where you find one of you has blamed the other for something that just occurred? Have you ever considered that the reason why you might be feeling what you’re feeling when blaming the other, is because of something you did, or even experienced prior to whatever it is you’re currently blaming them for?

I remember years ago, this was me. So many times I thought the reason why I was feeling what I was feeling was because of someone else.  It took me a long time to get to these truths. These teachings I learned, quite frankly, in a way that was very painful to me. I’ve been slapped around from one side to the other many times in the context of my relationships. And so much had to do with this, what I now refer to as, a misplacement of projected energy. A misplacement of projected energy would be, for example; I would get activated, usually with anger, and project it on to others. I was very angry by the time I was eighteen. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so angry.

Because I did not understand this anger or what to do with it when the people in my life would activate something within me, I would project that anger on to them. This would then cause rifts over time between us, which became very frustrating because, again, I didn’t understand what was actually happening. All I knew was what I was experiencing as a result of this unhealed, projected energy that kept manifesting. During this time I was so addicted to food; and back then, I didn’t even know that I had an addiction. What I did know though, is that I couldn’t go longer than four hours without putting food in my body. When I did go longer, that anger would come up and then it just became a question of who I would project it on. Those on the receiving end of my projection would think they’d done something to anger me. In some cases that was true, but in most cases it was not. What they were doing back then was showing me how angry I already was.

I finally discovered the truth. The reason behind everything that is happening in our lives has something to do with us and our relationship with ourselves. This awareness can be the beginning of an amazing journey that will not only transform our relationship with self, but also will transform our relationships with others, including the letting go of those relationships that are no longer serving us. There could not be a more important reason to take this journey. Discovering how to have fulfilling and truly meaningful relationships with others in our lives, including the relationship with ourselves, could be one of the most significant acomplishments of our journey in life!

Dale Halaway

© Dale Halaway – Seminars That Inspire, LLC – www.SeminarsThatInspire.com Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License. This license allows for redistribution, commercial and non-commercial, as long as it is passed along unchanged and in whole, with credit to Dale Haloway and a link to www.seminarsthatinspire.com.

We have major problems in the world today, not only worldwide, but also in our individual lives around the dynamics of relationships including; our spouses, our friends, our families and our business partners, as well as our relationships with things like finances and careers.

While we all engage in many forms of relationships on a daily basis, most people are operating within them with a very low level of awareness. The problem is that they think this is the highest level of awareness that exists. To better understand this concept, we first need to look at choice (our freedom to choose) and how it relates to our current circumstances. When it comes to our choices, there is one thing you can go to the bank on, and that is this: every time we make a choice, that choice must be followed by a consequence (be it positive or negative) which will be reflected back by the quality and depth of the choice that was made prior to the experience of the consequence. It’s the “Law of Cause and Effect.” A positive consequence follows a correct choice, and a negative consequence follows an incorrect choice.

Most people are not aware that the reason why their life is the way it is today and everyday is because of them! It’s not because of their ex-mate or ex-business partner, even though there are some that have convinced themselves that “he did it to me,” or “she did it to me,” or “they did it to me and they are going to pay!” But the reality is the only person who is going to pay is you! This person who so-called “did it to you” could be off in Hawaii having a great time and could even be transforming their own lives into something better. Meanwhile, you’re back here saying, “Oh, they’re going to pay!” and the one who’s really paying is you. Why? Because you are the one who’s holding the negative energy! It was your choice! You chose at some point in your life to not only hold others in negative energy but also to start accumulating more of it’s like. Why? Because you’re going to be right, because you know it all, because you’re smart and you have everything under control. Meanwhile, your life is reflecting back to you that you weren’t as smart as you thought you were. Your life is reflecting back to you that something is way out of balance.

In our country we have more wealth that is available to us than any other country in the world, and yet we have more people who are struggling financially, barely making it from paycheck to paycheck and don’t even have $5,000 in their bank account. These are people that have been working for 30 or 40 years, 8:00am to 5:00pm, like robots. They are doing the same thing every day from early in the morning until late at night. They are on automatic, but they don’t know they are on automatic! They are working the so-called “dream” by doing their eight or ten hours a day, five or six days a week, and according to the statistics the average person at the age of 65 will end up dead broke! Why is that? Now some people might answer that question with, “That’s just the way life is. Life has to be a struggle!” Yet, “life has to be a struggle” is nothing more than a way of thinking that they’ve turned into their own personal law. It’s them believing that life has to be a struggle. Because they are believing it within their heart of hearts, because they are believing it within their cellular structure of the way they think about themselves and the way they feel about themselves, that is what now manifests in their life. What better way for this to show up in someone’s life than that of their finances.

It’s time to start making better choices, and one of the highest choices you can make for yourself is to take responsibility for your own life. Start choosing to let go of all this negative energy you have been holding onto because the truth is, the more negative energy you have inside you, the more of a prison you will feel like you are in. There is no freedom in negativity. The more negativity you hold on to, the more you will feel like your life is stuck, or you’re living out the same old story over and over again.

So many people come across good opportunities but can’t access them because the moment they start to go towards an opportunity, their fears are activated that haven’t been cleared from with inside themselves, and they end up making a choice to not go there. Or if they do choose to go there, they end up sabotaging it, which becomes another choice. Perhaps their belief system or program is “I’m not good enough,” or “others make me wrong.” If this is a program that they have been running for a good portion of their life, then it’s just a matter of time and someone will come into their life and do exactly what they have been believing deep inside, and will end up making them wrong or making them feel not good enough.

If this has happened to you, and if you haven’t been paying attention, you’re going to think that they really “did it to you.” If you aren’t willing to let that go, it’s just a matter of time and you’ll get to go for another round. Someone else will come in and do the very same thing that the last person just did, only every time somebody comes in and does the same thing, the energy or the experience becomes louder. The next experience or person may look different than the last, but after the honeymoon is over and the negative experience reemerges, you realize, “Oh my gosh, I’ve just been sucked in again!” The reason you got  sucked in again is because you haven’t been paying attention to what’s going on within you for the purpose of clearing that energy out from within your subconscious body.

Since you are always at choice, you can make it all about them one more time, or you can come to a point where you say, “I’ve had enough. I thought I knew what I was doing, but it’s pretty obvious I really don’t. I’m tired of the pain, the confusion, the conflict, and feeling like I’m constipated, not just physically, but financially and emotionally. I just can’t imagine that this is what life is really all about. I need to start making some serious changes.” Although this doesn’t feel like a good place to be, it actually is the best place you could be, because now you are ready to really start making choices that will truly empower your life.

There is a higher ground saying that goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” The truth is; when you are ready to go there, when you are ready to cleanse yourself for real, when you are ready to really evolve and mature and move towards the life that you really deserve and are willing to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes, then all of a sudden the right teacher materializes just for you. This will be the kind of teacher that can truthfully help you accomplish what you’ve now set yourself out to accomplish because you now chose it. Once you choose it and you are willing to back it up with a strong genuine commitment, now the magic can begin!

© Dale Halaway – Seminars That Inspire, LLC – www.SeminarsThatInspire.com Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License. This license allows for redistribution, commercial and non-commercial, as long as it is passed along unchanged and in whole, with credit to Dale Haloway and a link to www.seminarsthatinspire.com.